I'm a slacker.

Wow! So much has changed since the last time I posted. I just read my last post and Conner has grown so much since then. He has slept through the night this whole month. I'm so proud of him. And he's liking bath time so much. He gets a bath every night before bed. I think that's part of what helps him sleep so well. He's still in 3-6mo clothes so at least he's not growing TOO fast.

My apartment searching has come to an end, I hope. The place we're looking at received our application today so hopefully by the end of the week we'll find out if they approve us or not. It's less than two months until I move and I've done NOTHING to prepare but find an apartment. Which I suppose is one of the hardest parts. I need some warm days so that I can repack all my things in the trailer and start putting more stuff in there. I really am not looking forward to the crazy drive between here and Virginia. Between now and then I have to pack, get my car fixed so that it can be driven back to Virginia for Casey to drive. I need to figure out what I need to do about utilities and such so I don't move into an apartment with no water and no electricity.

Once I get there I'll need to go furniture shopping ASAP since I'm giving my brother the couches we have now so we don't have to pack them out to Virginia. Plus I want to invest in nicer ones and thanks to our federal income tax refund I will be able to. But I really don't know how long I'll be able to stand not having furniture to sit on lol.

Casey's dad and stepmom want to make the trip out just for the heck of it when I move. Which I would be thankful for more help moving.

I'm so stressed though. It is hard to find time to get anything done during the day like laundry, cleaning....EATING... how am I going to pack all this stuff with a baby?!?!?! I'm going to go crazy, I just know it. On the up side I see this as the last deployment I move home for. It's nice to be around my family, but having a baby and moving back and forth is just going to be too much.

I'm really excited for being back with Casey and for us finally getting to really be a family. I'm scared because we'll be a one income family but I have faith that we can make it work. It's going to take a lot of cutting back since we're so used to me living with my parents and not paying rent but we've been mentally preparing for it. I've been learning to clip coupons and read sale ads for grocery stores to figure out our best deals and plan meals based on what is on sale. I've been learning to cook so we don't have to pay for convenience skillet meals that aren't very healthy. Once Conner gets started on solid foods sometime around this summer I plan on pureeing them myself since I can just take vegetables and things Casey and I would eat and puree them before they're seasoned.

I don't know why I'm rambling so much. I think mostly I'm trying to convince myself that it will work without me having to go back to work full-time. I really want it to. Someday I want to go to school and be a nurse and have a job but not now. Maybe once Conner is a little older and before we have another baby.

Being a mommy has changed me in so many ways. I'm starting to "nest" lol. Maybe a little late, but I'm getting there. I'm starting to want to be domestic and do all the housewife things like cooking and cleaning. It's a change for me but it feels so great to finally want it...even if it is hard to motivate myself to do it sometimes. I occasionally cosleep with Conner. Something I swore I would NEVER do with my child because I didn't want to break them from sleeping with me. It started with the co sleeper next to my bed where he slept, then we both happened to drift off a few times after middle of the night feedings and since he was so peaceful I'd just let him stay next to me. When I was sleeping on the couch for awhile he'd go to sleep in his pack n play and when he'd wake up to eat he'd spend the rest of the night on my chest. It's absolutely going to break my heart when Casey makes me move him to his own room at night. I don't know how I will be able to stand it. Hopefully I have awhile before that happens. And besides, the great thing about the Navy is that they occasionally go underway for a week or so and I can always sneak him back in the room with me while Casey is gone, right? lol

There are so many thoughts in my head. I'm so conflicted. I know that where I want and need to be is in Virginia with my husband. But I know that my family will be heartbroken when Conner and I leave. It was hard on my family when I left after I got married. I know that it's just going to be harder now that they all love Conner so much.

I guess I should go. I need to get in bed so I can get a good night's rest and get more things done tomorrow. Conner is sick. Nothing serious, just stuffed up nose and some coughing. Mostly just have to let it run it's course. I've been giving him a little Tylenol here and there and it helps him nap SOOOO well during the afternoon so I have plenty of time to get caught up on the housework and laundry I've ignored.