BIG NEWS!!!

I'M PREGNANT!!!

I took a test tonight and it was positive. I'm just under four weeks. I'm so excited. Casey and I were only trying one month so I feel so blessed that we were able to have this little miracle. He's leaving shortly for a deployment and I wanted to get pregnant before he left just so I knew that he'd be home for the birth.

Part of me is so ridiculously paranoid that this isn't real, or that something awful will happen, but I'm trying very hard to keep positive thoughts. I'm crossing my fingers for a girl. I want so much to have a reason to buy pink things. But ultimately I will be happy with whatever God decides to bless me with. Plus I've kept all of Conner's clothes so it wouldn't be awful to have another boy.

Now that I've updated for the first time in months I must go. Casey comes home tomorrow night and I MUST MUST MUST clean the house. It's what I get for procrastinating. :)

Me and my big mouth :D

**DISCLAIMER** I am going to get on a soapbox. Before I proceed to possible offend some just know that I'm not criticizing anyone's parenting. I'm merely feeling like I need to defend my own. I'm tired of people thinking that because I do something I feel I'm superior. Yes, I believe what I'm doing as a parent is best but that in no way means I think you aren't. It's every parents right to do what they feel is best for their child so please don't judge me because I have a very firm and unmoving opinion on what I think is best for Conner.


I never in my life thought I'd be so outspoken on so many parenting issues. Like breastfeeding. Until I got pregnant I don't really remember contemplating the issue. I just always assumed I would bottle feed. I don't even remember what made me want to consider breastfeeding. I'm thinking though it was formula costs. And then when I did my research I knew I wanted to at least try to do what was best for my baby. And here we are, six months and still going strong. I am really amazed we've been able to make it work this far and I have high hopes we'll make it to a year. I never thought it would irk me when people said anything even remotely derogatory about breastfeeding either. I hate it when people act like I think I'm better because I do it, or think it's disgusting because people nurse kids past a certain age (don't get me wrong, even I'm weirded out by 5 years olds that are totally comfortable lifting up mom's shirt for a boob). But someone in a forum online I frequent said it was weird her friend nursed her 13 month old and that she personally wouldn't have breastfed past 6 months. I just think that's weird. I mean, to each their own I don't want anyone to be offended. But why quit just because? Conner and I have a great thing going. I know my breast milk is best for him (and you can't argue that because even formula companies will tell you breast milk CAN NOT be duplicated). If I can breastfeed, Conner wants to breastfeed, he's gaining weight just fine and I have no reason to stop, why would I? Even if it were equal with formula, have you seen the costs? For real people, why would I pay that much for an inferior product to what my body produces? lol. Call me cheap, because I am. My baby will have the best of everything that Casey and I can afford, but I'm not paying for something he doesn't need. Don't get me totally wrong. Casey and I have given Conner formula. He gets it when I go to work. Sometimes he gets it at night if Casey is off and around to help me out and I can try and get some sleep since I stay up until into the wee hours of the morning five days a week or more. But he gets formula less than he gets solid food.

There is another thing that irks me too. And before anyone gets their panties in a twist just understand this is totally my opinion and I'm not going to come up to you and say you're a horrible parent so don't try and take what I'm saying as such.

People look at me crazy because I say Conner will stay in a rear-facing car seat until he reaches the weight or height limitations on his convertible car seat. If you want to know my reasoning google rear-facing and front-facing car seat tests. Or if you've been in a car accident think about how sore YOU were after rear-ending someone. Or someone rear-ending you. Or hitting something. Think about a small child without a fully developed body. On some car seat forum or something I found a link to once a grandfather told the story of his front-facing 13 month old grandson who's skull came unattached from his spine in a fender bender. Not even some jaws of life needed crash. Seriously, google this. See how the dummy baby's head and body get thrown forward in the crash test. THAT is why Conner will stay rear facing.

Some will say "what about their legs?"

Don't you ever sit Indian style?

That's too uncomfortable! I'd prefer my child to be uncomfortable for the relatively short car ride I'm sure we'll be on (since no one I know takes their child for daily hours long car rides) over having a paralyzed child for life.

My aunt once criticized me for being less than pleased at a carseat the limo service provided when we went to visit my uncle. There was a loaner carseat from a relative at his house but from the airport to their we had a car pick us up that provided one. I am being 100% honest when I say I haven't see a carseat like that in YEARS. Like since my cousins (who are 11) were in carseats. It had a lap bar that went in front of the baby. When we got to the car it was already installed and was forward facing. SO I had to fix it. THe guy driving had no clue how to work this outdated hunk of plastic and it took forever to figure it out. The whole ride to my uncle's I prayed we wouldn't crash because I honestly didn't believe Conner was that safe in it. So because of that I do my homework. I will buy a carseat that I think is the safest for my baby. So what if it means Casey and I have to not go out for a month or so and cut a few corners? Conner's safety is that important. Some parents really can't afford some of the really expensive ones and that's cool. There are some less expensive seats that are still really safe. The one I want clicks to let me know it's tight enough and has some pretty awesome side impact protection as extras. I want that. It's important to me. I've been in a car accident before and I want Conner to be as safe as possible.

I think I'm done on my soap box here. I truly hope I've not offended anyone. I just needed to get all this off my chest and well, it is my blog. You really could have hit the nice "X" in the corner at any given moment. So hopefully we're all still friends. If not then know I still care about you and wish you the best :D

I'm a slacker.

Wow! So much has changed since the last time I posted. I just read my last post and Conner has grown so much since then. He has slept through the night this whole month. I'm so proud of him. And he's liking bath time so much. He gets a bath every night before bed. I think that's part of what helps him sleep so well. He's still in 3-6mo clothes so at least he's not growing TOO fast.

My apartment searching has come to an end, I hope. The place we're looking at received our application today so hopefully by the end of the week we'll find out if they approve us or not. It's less than two months until I move and I've done NOTHING to prepare but find an apartment. Which I suppose is one of the hardest parts. I need some warm days so that I can repack all my things in the trailer and start putting more stuff in there. I really am not looking forward to the crazy drive between here and Virginia. Between now and then I have to pack, get my car fixed so that it can be driven back to Virginia for Casey to drive. I need to figure out what I need to do about utilities and such so I don't move into an apartment with no water and no electricity.

Once I get there I'll need to go furniture shopping ASAP since I'm giving my brother the couches we have now so we don't have to pack them out to Virginia. Plus I want to invest in nicer ones and thanks to our federal income tax refund I will be able to. But I really don't know how long I'll be able to stand not having furniture to sit on lol.

Casey's dad and stepmom want to make the trip out just for the heck of it when I move. Which I would be thankful for more help moving.

I'm so stressed though. It is hard to find time to get anything done during the day like laundry, cleaning....EATING... how am I going to pack all this stuff with a baby?!?!?! I'm going to go crazy, I just know it. On the up side I see this as the last deployment I move home for. It's nice to be around my family, but having a baby and moving back and forth is just going to be too much.

I'm really excited for being back with Casey and for us finally getting to really be a family. I'm scared because we'll be a one income family but I have faith that we can make it work. It's going to take a lot of cutting back since we're so used to me living with my parents and not paying rent but we've been mentally preparing for it. I've been learning to clip coupons and read sale ads for grocery stores to figure out our best deals and plan meals based on what is on sale. I've been learning to cook so we don't have to pay for convenience skillet meals that aren't very healthy. Once Conner gets started on solid foods sometime around this summer I plan on pureeing them myself since I can just take vegetables and things Casey and I would eat and puree them before they're seasoned.

I don't know why I'm rambling so much. I think mostly I'm trying to convince myself that it will work without me having to go back to work full-time. I really want it to. Someday I want to go to school and be a nurse and have a job but not now. Maybe once Conner is a little older and before we have another baby.

Being a mommy has changed me in so many ways. I'm starting to "nest" lol. Maybe a little late, but I'm getting there. I'm starting to want to be domestic and do all the housewife things like cooking and cleaning. It's a change for me but it feels so great to finally want it...even if it is hard to motivate myself to do it sometimes. I occasionally cosleep with Conner. Something I swore I would NEVER do with my child because I didn't want to break them from sleeping with me. It started with the co sleeper next to my bed where he slept, then we both happened to drift off a few times after middle of the night feedings and since he was so peaceful I'd just let him stay next to me. When I was sleeping on the couch for awhile he'd go to sleep in his pack n play and when he'd wake up to eat he'd spend the rest of the night on my chest. It's absolutely going to break my heart when Casey makes me move him to his own room at night. I don't know how I will be able to stand it. Hopefully I have awhile before that happens. And besides, the great thing about the Navy is that they occasionally go underway for a week or so and I can always sneak him back in the room with me while Casey is gone, right? lol

There are so many thoughts in my head. I'm so conflicted. I know that where I want and need to be is in Virginia with my husband. But I know that my family will be heartbroken when Conner and I leave. It was hard on my family when I left after I got married. I know that it's just going to be harder now that they all love Conner so much.

I guess I should go. I need to get in bed so I can get a good night's rest and get more things done tomorrow. Conner is sick. Nothing serious, just stuffed up nose and some coughing. Mostly just have to let it run it's course. I've been giving him a little Tylenol here and there and it helps him nap SOOOO well during the afternoon so I have plenty of time to get caught up on the housework and laundry I've ignored.

2 months going on 20

Holy Cow! Conner is seriously blowing my mind these days. He turned 2 months on Jan 29th and is already wearing 3-6 month clothing!!! It makes me so sad. I put a 6 month outfit on him today just on a whim and couldn't believe it fit him well enough to wear it all day. Granted its a bit baggy, but it didn't swallow him as I expected. Hmph! Where is my baby??? This kid is going to be walking and talking before Casey ever comes home. We'll be registering him for kindergarten this fall I'm sure. lol.

Other than him growing the last few days have been so amazing. This was the third night in a row I gave him a bath before bed. I used the Johnson&Johnson calming bath wash and lotion. They work WONDERS. It made it so much easier to give him a bath about the same time every night, feed him and let him get full and sleepy and put him down. Tonight thought was different. I got thrown off on my schedule so instead of giving him a bath at like 8, it was 11:30. Oops. Good thing I don't have anywhere to be tomorrow. But he ate before his bath so he didn't have eating to make him sleepy. So I just bathed him, dressed him, swaddled him and laid him down in his pack n play. He played with the baby in the mirror for awhile, and I heard some babbles and a happy shriek. Then 15 minutes in he started getting fussy. I thought for sure I was going to have to pick him up but I just went in there twice to pop his pacifier back in his mouth and 15 minutes later he was asleep. All on his own.

And hopefully (also for the third night in a row) he will sleep through the night. That would be amazing. I can't believe he's already sleeping through the night. Well it's considered sleeping through the night but really it'd be better if he'd sleep till noon. hahaha. That's when I'm ready to get up for the day lately. Especially with all this snow that prevents me from going anywhere.

Well, as much as I would love to stay and ramble some more, I must get some sleep. Conner has been asleep for about two hours now and already has a headstart on when we'll be waking up. Luckily he's pretty good at eating when he does wake up and going back down for another nap with me.

My first post!!!

So this is my first post. Let me tell you some things about myself.

My name is Jessica. Some people call me Jess. Some people call me Jess Meff. But don't ever call me Jessie, I hate that.

I'm 23 years old and I never want to grow up. Ever. I pretty much got pregnant to ensure that it wouldn't happen, at least for awhile. I am married to the absolute best pain in the neck I've ever met and I couldn't think of anyone else I would rather have make me so miserably happy. Seriously though, he's awesome. I'm just easily annoyed, that's all. Together we have an adorable furbaby named Ginger who is a Pomeranian and more spoiled than any other dog in the history of the world. And also a six and a half week (and counting) old baby named Conner. I don't care what anyone else says, he's the cutest baby in the world and I can prove it because he's my offspring.

In an attempt to hold onto my sanity as I enter the world of being a SAHM (stay at home mom) I have re-entered the world of blogging. It's my little corner of the world to rant, brag, and ramble as I so please.

Feel free to comment at your own risk. Anything you say can and will be misinterpreted and then ridiculed.